Baby Madilyn

On February 7th, 2009 little Madilyn Rose Leonard entered the world.

Talia & I have been friends since Kindergarden. She is currently the longest friend I've ever had outside of family (and Megan... of course). She got married just over 3 years ago and has been dying to have a baby ever since, however her career was not yet stable enough to do so. I was ecstatic when I found out she was pregnant (and with me none the less). I'm hopeful that Carter and Madilyn will be the best of friends one day just as Talia and I once were as children.

The Big Brother

Isaac is a great big brother... 90% of the time. However he LOVES to kiss Carter. You will not understand that sentence until you see him interact with Carter. Isaac loves to kiss Carter non stop... over and over and over... usually until Carter cries from being over stimulated or just plane scared. So usually we when Isaac is near Carter... there are tears. However I was able to capture a GREAT moment of the two of them smiling! A priceless moment.

Brotherly Love.... this is how it should be all the time.

Reverting Back 3 months Later...

They say your older child may revert back to the ways of being a baby after you have a baby. Bella did fine... up until a few weeks ago. I found her in the middle of the day sleeping like this in Carters swing. If you look closely, she even had a binky in her hand. Who knows, she may have sucked on that until she fell asleep. Sometimes I do catch her stealing it from her baby brother. Silly little girl.

Worst Cold Ever...

It all started on my birthday... Bella woke up really sick. A fever of 102 and very lathargic. Isaac caught it within a day or two, however his only lasted a few days. Little Bella however was sick for over a week. So many people were sick that week. So glad that is over and so glad the kids can't catch that strain every again.

TEXAS

Arrived last Wednesday... didn't get to sleep until 2am (early Thursday morning). San Antonio = very beautiful. Visited Buckhorn Museum, Childrens Museum (awesome), Mi Tierra (amazing authentic Mexican Cuisine), Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch (feeding Zebras was so cool), Wonder World Park (caverns were BEAUTIFUL!), Matamoras (more yummy mexican cuisine), The Alamo, Louis Toussauds Wax Museum, Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum, Mirror Maze and Lazer Challenge, The River Walk (very beautiful).... and now visiting in Corpus Christi.

We've had a great time... kept very busy. The kids are having fun. The weather has been mildly great (high 60s), however we were hoping it would be warmer. Tomorrow will be in the 70s... yay! Tomorrow we will be visiting the Texas State Aquarium and the USS Lexington along with Padre Islands. We'll be sad to head home this Tuesday. I have sooooo many picture to upload. I think I'll wait and make a slideshow and will be sure to post it when we get home.

IT'S WORKING!!!

Yay!!! Weight Watchers is working for me! I'm very happy to report that this week I lost 3 pounds... most of which I'm sure was shed after Wednesday. By Wednesday I got my act together... quit eating junk, quit the unnecessary snacking, and decided to just stick to weight watchers. I've started to drink water whenever I feel the urge to eat. When that urge comes I also try to go and do something to keep busy before heading to the kitchen... like cleaning the bathrooms (which totally kills my appetite) or dejunking a room. This helps me focus elsewhere and therefore makes me forget that I wanted a "snack". If I want to taste something that is high in points then I make sure I eat a fruit of veggie before hand and drink water so that once I taste that YUMMY food I won't want as much becuase my tummy will be more full. Anyhow... all these things I'm figuring out but have really known all along will really help me continue with this journey. I'm determined... thank you especially to Courtney and Rachael who seem to be my cheerleaders! Texas will be hard... so much mexican food. But I'm going to make it through and plan to still report in next Sunday with a weight loss. Wish me luck!

PS. In case you didn't know we are leaving this dreadfully cold and depressing weather on Wednesday. We are so excited to go to San Antonio where we can finally wear t shirts and bask in the sunlight without worrying about frostbite! One week won't seem long enough, but we are SOOOO ready for a vacation and so are the kiddos.

Today I Cried....

And then I worked out... Let me elaborate.

I've been dejunking my house the last few days. Today I was dejunking the master bedroom. All was going great until I reached my closet. I started to dejunk and organize the MANY clothes I have in there. As I stared at the clothes hanging up, the clothes on the shelves, and the clothes in a basket on the closet floor... it all just hit me and I cried. I have so many clothes and yet right now my wardrobe consists of 2 pairs of jeans and about 5 black shirts. That's it... that's all I'm comfortable wearing. I have so many CUTE clothes that I am dying to wear again. I don't want to get ready every day and look like a frump... a chunky frump... but I do and it's driving me nuts. And I'm just not willing to go out and buy a whole new colorful wardrobe in my current size.

So the tears... let me explain. Not only did I cry because I want to wear all those cute clothes again but I also cried because I'm so mad at myself. Why in the world do I feel it necessary to constantly eat. Snacking is all I want to do. I feel like I need to put a lock and chain on the cupboards and the refrigerator and give it to Doug to hide somewhere. I've had these horrible eating habits since I was little. I've also been extremely lazy since I was little as well. Why can I not control myself??? Even right now as I type I want so badly to go over to the kitchen and eat! I just ate a snack not too long ago... so sad. I'm just so mad at myself.

So as I was crying I decided to stop... right then and there as the kids were running around screaming and Carter was crying I decided to go down in the basement, put in the old Taebo video and work out. Wow was that embarassing... Just in the first 5 minutes of the STRETCHING (not the work out but the stretching) I was ready to give up. But I didn't... I pushed myself right along into the work out. Ouch, ouch, ouch... my throat hurts because I was counting so loud. I figured my voice would drown out the pain. This is pathetic huh? Anyhow, I stopped at one point and was looking down at the ground and Isaac shouted "keep going Mom!" I told him from now on he needs to remind me to work out. Not sure if he will remember that, but if he does then great! One more reminder. I always try to put off working out until Doug is home... but lately that is not until 7 or later. By the time we get the kids bathed and in bed, I'm beat and ready for bed. So now I guess I just need to force myself to work out during the day even when my household seems chaotic.

So even now, as I end this post... I still want to cry. It's okay to cry right? The skinny pictures of me help but at the same time they make it worse. Like constant reminders of how cute I once was... and then I cross a mirror in my house and am brought back to reality. It sucks, it really really sucks. I'm trying to hard to stay positive. I'm embarassed to even post any of this, but it also feels good to get it out there, let it all out. That old LDS saying is perfect for me right now... of course the real saying is talking about life and is supposed to be coming from the Savior, but I think it can work for me right now as well.

"I NEVER SAID IT WOULD BE EASY, I ONLY SAID IT WOULD BE WORTH IT."

One Pound At A Time

Okay, so I weighed in yesterday... a loss of one pound. Better then a gain... but I know I can do even better. Just got to get control of the snacking and put some fitness into my schedule. I'm just plain old lazy. I'm staying positive though. The pic on my fridge really helps me... I want to be that cute sexy vibrant girl again. I'm only 26!

The chocolate was the killer this week. I just wanted chocolate. And not just a little bit, but allot. Today is the start of a new week. I can do this... I can lose 46 pounds!

Happy Birthday Bopper!!!

Happy "26" Tenille Lynn

Thanks for allowing me to have full privilege to your blog, so I could post VERY CUTE pictures of you on your birthday. Happy Birthday baby sis. Hope you have a good one.

I'm In Love!

Oh yes, I love my husband dearly... but right now I am so in love with my baby.

No matter what little face this kid gives me... my heart melts and I just want to snuggle him and hug him and kiss him. Can ya blame me???

TIRED

EXCITED

GOOFY

ANGRY

SAD

These pictures were captured while he sat next to me by the computer desk. He loves attention. The first few photos are how he looks so long as I keep talking to him and looking at him every once in awhile. The last two pictures are how he looks when I "ignore" him for more then 5 minutes. Too cute!

Carter in all his cuteness

Doesn't this kid just melt your heart???

And this picture... I love it! Like a little gansta or something with that mouth and his head cocked to the side a bit.

Bella's Beauty Routine

I just love this! Bella loves to play with her vanity set from Santa. I love the morning sun shining in on her as she gets ready for the day. Brushing her hair...

Putting on (fake) lipstick and yes even nail polish...

And looking ever so beautiful when she's done!

Bath Time for the Chunkers!

I love giving baths to Carter... he is just so darn chunky and covered in rolls that I can't help but to smile. He never cries during bath time, but this was the first time he actually smiled at me while I gave him a bath. So cute!!!

Bella ALWAYS helps me give Carter a bath. She loves to sit right next to us. I usually let her help me put soap in his hair. She's such a good big sister and loves Carter so much.

Some Great Advice

I have a wonderful and amazing sister in law who is always there to build me up, support me, and be such an amazing friend. When she read my blog about taking a "before" picture of my chubby self (and read that I was going to post it for myself as motivation)... she reminded me that it wasn't a very positive motivation. Basically the law of attraction. If I say "I will not be fat" then of course I'm left thinking that last word... fat. But if I say "I will be skinny again". Wow, what a difference. So anyhow, I took her advice and dug out this old photo of me. This is about a year and half before I got married (senior year of high school getting ready for Prom). Yes, I know... not very modest but this is extremely modest compared to some of my other senior year pictures. Anyhow, I posted this picture on my fridge at about 2pm today and it has already done me wonders! When I go to the fridge or cupboard for a snack I see the picture and change my mind. Thank you so much Rachael for your WONDERFUL advice! Love you lots!

No Loss- No Gain

BUMMER! I did not lose any weight this past week. I know that's because it was a rough week and I ate lots of crap. But I'm also very happy that I did not gain anything either. I'm still sitting at 178.4 pounds. I need to kick my butt in gear because the last two days have not exactly been great either. I just keep snacking! It's horrible. Now, my new favorite snack are these Fiber One chocolate chip granola bars. They are only 2 points which is awesome... but addictive. I have yet to add the physical fitness into my schedule. I'm just too lazy and not setting the best priorities but I know I can do it. I will do it... this week will be a good one.