HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC!!!

It's hard to believe our little boy was born 5 years ago today!

Isaac arrived a month before my due date on Sunday the 28th at 9:15pm. After 29 hours of labor we were able to welcome our little boy into the world, weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces... amazing for a 35 week gestation! However his poor little lungs were underdeveloped and he was whisked off by ambulance to another hospital better equipped to treat NICU babies. Isaac spent the first 6 days of his life in an incubator with an oxygen hood. Because of his large size he was known as the "Giant" of the NICU. It was only natural for us to worry that as a premie he would struggle in life and possibly even be the "small little guy". Isaac surprised us though by becoming one of the biggest and strongest kids of his age group. He is also extremely intelligent and loves to learn. We are so proud of the boy he has turned out to be. We love you so much Isaac!!!

Thank Goodness for Sisters!

I had every intention to create this post several days ago. I have procrastinated due to the fact I was hoping to upload pictures, but my computer is just too slow. I just wanted to share with all my readers how greatful I am for my sisters (and my sweet brother of course too). However, last week I recieved some "unexpected" visitors on my doorstep. There stood two of my sisters, Kristin & Trina. They were together at Kristin's house figuring out computer stuff when they read my blog- that was the day I posted the very negative blog titled "Be Positive". I opened my door and Kristin proudly announced "We're here to clean!". I was shocked in all honesty. I reminded them that on the post I specifically said I wanted no one's pity or offers of assistance. They just stood their laughing and smiling and kept being persistent that they were going to clean my house. Of course I was very greatful for their extremely generous offer but to be honest- I was extremely embarrassed that my two older sisters were about to clean my disgustingly dirty house. I felt awkward the majority of the time that they were scrubbing bathrooms, walls, and floors... but when they were finished I couldn't help but to feel such a sense of relief and gratitude. Ever since that day I have had a different attitude about being a housewife. I've been able to keep up on my chores and surprisingly keeping a good attitude about it too. They gave me the little boost that I so badly was in need of. So to Kristin & Trina: I don't think you guys will ever understand how much your act of service really meant to me. I feel very blessed to call you my sisters!

THANK YOU!!!

She said What???

Yes she is only 2 and half

Yet her most recent phrases consist of:

"Poopy Head!"

"Na na na na na na BATMAN!"

"I hate you Mom"

"I Farted"

"You go sit in Time Out NOW!"

"Whatever"

(Big brother is most definetly wearing off on her)

The Belly

So here it is... my 32 week belly. After I took these pictures I kept staring at them and for the first time thought "I'm small!". I sure don't feel small, but in comparison to my other pregnancies... I'm small. Then Doug graciously reminded me that I still have another 8 weeks to go. Of course those last 8 weeks are when I pack on the pounds too- so we'll see what I say then.

I decided to be daring and take a skin belly shot for you all. Surprisingly you cannot see my many stretchmarks. My belly is actually covered in them, so I'm kinda liking this picture allot. Do I look low to you? Because I definetly feel low... well he feels low I should say.

Happy News!

After my negative post from yesterday, I am incredibly happy to report that the work situation with Doug has taken a change for the better. Woohoo!! Last night (just after publishing that ever so negative post) Doug came home and announced that he will no longer be doing that job 2 hours away. Another company was able to take on the job for the same price allowing my sweet hubby to find local jobs until this baby comes. He made my day with that announcement! Now we just need all your prayers that he is capable of getting local jobs to keep the company financially supported... I guess some gratitude actually does pay off!

Be Postive! Be Positive! Be Positive!

Today is a very negative day. I can't even begin to type the amount of negativity that has entered my little brain today. I suppose I'm just hitting a rut... and I really do know that "this too shall pass."

I am entering the last 8 weeks of this pregnancy and sadly I feel "misery" set in about 2 weeks ago. I feel like that purple girl from the original Charlie & The Chocolate Factory... and my dear sweet belly still has so much growing yet to do! My legs keep cramping up, my siatic nerve shocks me every now and again, oh and have I mentioned restless leg syndrome? My back is aching every second of the day (and yes I'm seeing a chiropractor regularly), my mind is going... what's the word... "bye bye", I'm constantly tired and fatigued, I can literally feel my pelvic bone beginning to shift which is the most horrible pain right now. If I sit too long then I get up and walk like I'm 100 years old and yet if I stand too long then I feel like I'm going to collapse to the floor. I have no energy... none whatsoever... not even on a good day. Whatever happened to that final "nesting phase"???

To make matters worse, Doug has recently started a job that is 2 hours away... a very big and financially important job mind you. His foreman recently quit which means Doug will need to be there almost every day helping out his employees. This job is supposed to end roughly around the exact time that Carter is due... however progress has been very slow on the job and I'm now worried that his late nights will continue longer then the next 2 months.

Although school has started for Isaac, his energy level has remained quite high... especially on his days off. He still continues to enjoy making his little sister cry... but she's not so innocent- she cries even when he brushes up against her; little stink. Isaac craves constant attention and entertainment, which I am really struggling to offer in my current state of woe.

Bella... oh sweet Bella... is taking on so many aspects of Isaac's "wild" personality. She has begun to bounce of the walls (sometimes literally). Her desired place of rest is in my arms which is not quite so easy with a giant belly in the way.

Being a housewife: over on my sidebar it says under "About Me" that I love what I do. Oh boy, I must have typed that little tid bit at a high point of this pregnancy. I stare at my laundry in disgust along with the dishes in the sink. The floors covered in dog hair, bloodhound drool, crumbs, dirt, and who knows what just makes me cringe. The unmade beds... well those just stay unmade lately. The bathrooms; the 4 bathrooms- yea I'm not going there... just let me say 2 males in the house make me want to stay away from those areas. Overall I just don't want to think about anything that deals with being a housewife. Sad huh?

Okay- so whats the point of me posting all my negativity? I guess simply to get it out... I'm not looking for anyone's pity or even for offers of assistance. I got myself where I am and I can get myself out of this rut. Sometimes it's just nice to wallow in my own self pity... but what I know I need to remember is "Count your blessings... name them one by one." I know that if I can focus on the positive a little more then the negative things just won't seem as important. I just need to keep telling myself to BE POSITIVE. And I promise you- I will do my best.

I have SO many things to be grateful for... even relating to the things that are currently bringing me down.

1. This pregnancy is a blessing. After having 2 miscarriages, I feel so blessed that my Heavenly Father has given me this opportunity to carry another baby. I am a woman who can concieve and carry a child in my own womb.

2. My husband HAS a job. A stable job. A job that is able to support us financially in all aspects. A job that allows him to come home in the evening and on the weekends.

3. My son is healthy. He does not have any severe illness or diseases. He has all of his limbs and all of his senses. He has energy that so many sick children lack. He is amazingly intelligent.

4. My daughter is all of the above as well. She is also still a little child who adores me... she's far from being that teenager who wants nothing to do with her mother. She is a daughter- something I never really thought I'd have marrying a man with 6 brothers.

5. I HAVE a home. An extremely nice home. I have the finances to buy clothing that we need and even desire. I have warmth in the winter and AC in the summer.

Now I challenge each of you to think of 5 things that you are grateful for and either post them under my comments or in your own blog. Thanks for reading yet another insanely long post!

"I'm Still A Guy"

I hardly ever take the time to listen to the radio, usually because my kids take over the DVD player in the Van. But today while Isaac was away at school Bella fell asleep and I decided to tune into a country station (the only type of music I care for lately). Thats when I heard a song that made me smile. I couldn't stop smiling until the song was over because every word of it reminded me of my husband Doug. This song describes my husband 100% and to be honest it's why I fell in love with him over 6 years ago. In Brad Paisley's live you tube video (posted at the end) he claims this is a song for "Real Men".... and that is what I love most about my husband. He is the definition of a "Real Man".

"I'm Still A Guy" by Brad Paisley

When you see a deer you see Bambi,and I see antlers up on the wall.

When you see a lake you think picnics,and I see a largemouth up under that log.You're probably thinkin that you're gonna change me.In some ways well maybe you might. Scrub me down,dress me up,oh but no matter what, remember I'm still a guy.

When you see a pricless French painting,I see a drunk naked girl.

You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy,and I'd like to give it a whirl.

Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of and in weak moment I might,walk your sissy dog,hold your purse at the mall, but remember I'm still a guy.

I'll pour out my heart,hold your hand in the car,write a love song that makes you cry. Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground 'cause he caught the feel as you walk by. I can hear you now talkin to your friends,sayin,"Yeah girls he's come a long way from draggin his knuckles and carryin aclub and buildin a fire in a cave." But when you say a back rub means only a back rub and you swat my hand when I try. Well, at the end of the day all I can say is,"Honey,I'm still a guy."

I'll pour out my heart,hold your hand in the car,write a love song that makes you cry. Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground 'cause he caught the feel as you walk by.

These days there's dudes gettin facials,manicured,waxed,and botuxed.With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands,you can't grip a tackle box. Yeah,with all of these men line in up to get neutured.It's hip now to be feminized. I don't highlight my hair. I've still got apair.Yeah,honey I'm still a guy. Oh,my eyebrows ain't plucked there's a gun in my truck. Oh,thank God,I'm still a guy.

(YOU TUBE VIDEO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbk1DQIvjCw)

Scarred by Movies

Thank you so much for all of you who replied back to my "cry of help" regarding Isaac and his bedtime terror. I'm so greatful to know that when I need advice- you will be there for me. We still intend to use every bit of advice that was given, however we think we have finally figured out why our son is unable to sleep through the night. After a long drawn out tearful conversation with my mom she posed the obvious question "What happened or was going on a month ago when this all began?"

So- that is what I did. To be honest, Doug came up with this conclusion several weeks ago and I just must not have been listening. Roughly a month ago we allowed Isaac to watch the movie Zathura in his room by himself before bed. Now he has seen this movie several times, both with us and without us- but always during the day and never in his room. Zathura is not meant to be a scarey movie for kids but considering the situation during his viewing- it was. Zathura is about two boys who play a game that spin their home into outerspace where they encounter alien creatures who like to eat humans (sounds much worse then what it is). The movie ends happily of course, but we believe that story line haunts him at night before bed.

What makes this situation even worse is the fact that we allowed him to watch another similar movie within a week of that. The 2nd movie is Spiderwick Chronicles. Yet another movie that he has watched with us and never been frightened from. However we feel that the mix of both movies with some frightening images and content for a 5 year old- have scarred our little guy. I of course feel horrible as a parent for making such decisions. We no longer will allow him to watch those movies and are doing much better about screening all other shows.

So now we are taking baby steps to getting him adjusted back to normal. He fell asleep on his own and slept in his own bed for 2 years. We know he will be able to do it again one day. He's already making progress. We have decided to use a reward chart as well which he's excited about. So once again, thank you all for your great advice. I'll be sure to keep you posted on his progress!

Isaac's Big Day

Isaac was able to finally start what he calls "Big Kid School" on Wednesday. He was so excited that he woke up at 6:30am asking if it was time to get on the bus.




Of course little Bella wanted to be in the pictures as well. She seemed just as excited as Isaac. In fact when we were heading outside at the end of the day to get Isaac off of the bus she kept saying "My turn now". Poor little girl has quite a ways to go before she's heading off to big kid school.

Now you tell me, does he look like he's only 4? So many people ask me if he is 6. He's a big kid for his age. Yesterday we figured out he is 47 inches tall and weighs 55 pounds. This continues to make me question if we should have put him in Kindergarden... his preschool teachers seemed to think he would have done wonderful. Hopefully we made the right decision doing Early Fives.

Isaac loves his new teacher, Mrs. Christian. He said that she is super nice and never mean. (I have yet to remind him that he's only been in school for 2 days... so we'll see.)

When I asked Isaac what his favorite part about school was, he replied "Riding the bus to and from school." As you can tell by his giant grin he LOVES the bus. I had the camera all ready when he was waiting for the bus but he ran so quickly when the doors opened I didn't get any good pictures. Luckily I drove to the school and was able to arrive before the buses to capture this shot.

Tears of Frustration & Sleep Deprivation

Where do I start? I'm just not quite sure... I believe my tear ducts will be completely dried up by the time I have this baby. For the last month now I have spent many nights crying (typically around 4:30am). I no longer know what to do and am hopeful that some of you may be able to give me your advice.

Isaac has been waking up at least twice a night wanting to come into our room to sleep or wanting Doug or myself to sleep with him in his room. Many nights he claims he's scared and so we of course talk calmly to him, explaining that things are okay and there's nothing to be afraid of. We snuggle him, give him hugs and kisses, leave the bathroom light on, and make sure he has his teddy bear "Sammy". This all usually occurs around 12:30am. Then roughly 2 hours later he wakes up again and comes to our bedroom door. This time we tell him to go back to bed that everything is okay- he cries and does not stop crying. Not only does he cry but he screams at the top of his lungs. Finally we get up and take him back into his room, get him in bed- this is when he claims that something hurts (his head, his eyes, his knee, his foot, his neck, his back... occasionally he will go through all these things in one night). Eventually he falls back asleep only to wake up again at about 4:30am. This is where I lose it. I'm exhausted. This pregnancy is so physically draining on me and I desperatly need sleep to survive during the day. It's rare for Doug to get up with Isaac at night (unless I'm drowning in tears) because he gets up early for work. (And he really needs his sleep considering he operates heavy machinery and drives long hours).

So 4:30am rolls around and the crying and screaming begins again. This time I'm no longer able to be the nice mom. (Which of course I know doesn't help). So I try a little love and logic, giving him choices. "Would you like to go to sleep in your bed with the bathroom light on or sleep in your bed with the light off?" OR "Would you like to sleep with a warm blanket or be cold at night?". Let me tell you- Love and Logic just does not work with this kid. So then I result in threatening to take things away (teddy bear, pillow, blanket, favorite toys for the week)... and then I actually do take those things away. Think it works? Nope! He continues to get up several times every night crying, screaming, wanting to sleep in our room (and not only in our room on the floor but in our room in our bed).

I suppose I should also explain to you that little Bella sleeps in our room. However she sleeps in her toddler bed next to me (our goal is to get her into her room... another task I'm so not looking forward to!) So when all of this is happening with Isaac- well you can only guess, Bella wakes up crying. So not only am I dealing with one child who will not sleep- but it is almost always two!

Last night was the cake topper- I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I was furious, exhausted, frustrated, and just a mess. We took the advice of a few family members and chose to lock our door after he came in the 2nd time (this being 4:30am). We don't actually have a lock though so Doug pushed our dresser up against the door. Supposedly, according to these family members- he'd probably go back into his bed and cry himself to sleep, or fall asleep by the door crying... something of that sort. Yea- that is so not what happened. From 4:30am until 6:ooam (the time Doug left for work) Isaac chose to stand outside our bedroom door screaming, crying, beating the door with his fists, then talking calmly, back to crying and screaming (telling us to wake up, get out of bed), even attempting to scream out Bella's name a few times to get her up so I would come and yell at him (thus getting me out of bed- his ultimate goal). For the first 45 minutes or so we would keep telling him to go to bed that we were all trying to sleep. Then the last 30 minutes we just ignored him. This resulted in him throwing the laundry basket down the stairs and chucking his big fan at our bedroom door over and over until finally it was time for Doug to get up anyhow. I sent him to his room for the next 30 minutes, Doug headed off to work, and then I had him clean up the mess he made in the hallway.

So now here I sit at the computer- it is 7:30am and we have all been up since 4:30am (even little Bella). Isaac has lost his favorite toys to play with (basically his only toys he ever plays with) and has lost snack priveledges as well. However I know that when this evening rolls around- I will more then likely be laying in my bed covered in tears because it will all happen again just as it has every night for the past month.

I truley love Isaac with all of my heart. There are many many moments in our lives that he brings laughter into the room. He's one of the smartest 5 year olds I've ever known. He's adorable and full of sooooo much energy. He has the most amazing imagination and has the craziest stories to tell. I wouldn't trade him for the world- but this night time thing... well, it's killing me. I need to find a way to get some sleep before this baby comes or I'm afraid I'll experience Post Partum Depression all over again. So please send your advice my way! I'll try just about anything at this point. Thank you for taking the time to read this incredibly long post!!!